Advice for someone who doesn't want to be gay anymore?:

Advice for someone who doesn’t want to be gay anymore?

Hey yahoo users, I really need some advice and I’d appreciate it if you can help me out a little.

In a nut shell, I really don’t want to be gay anymore. I’m 20 years old and have been really sad lately. I’ve known I was gay since a very young age and thought I had happily accepted it. I liked guys but have never had a relationship or even kissed anyone. Lately, I’ve began becoming very sad because of how being gay is affecting my life. I’m constantly heartbroken by guys who will never love me back because they are straight. My parents hate the idea of homosexuality and I don’t want to disappoint them. I want a normal family and kids one day and it’s not gonna happen if I marry a guy….I’m just really confused. I don’t like to associate myself with the gay “lifestyle” and I don’t fit in with the gay community. I’ve never felt more detached from society. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this and it gets really unpleasant sometimes.

I know conversion therapy doesn’t work but is there something else I can do? I know that I can’t be straight but I just don’t want to be gay anymore…I want to be able to date and talk about my dates and please my parents and just be normal…
I tried to force myself to like girls but it’s really hard and it only makes me even more sad…maybe I should just say screw it and date girls? It’s been than nothing right?
Thanks you so much for all of the advice, it really makes me feel better!

One Response to “Advice for someone who doesn't want to be gay anymore?:”

  1. Maggie Sanger says:

    No, it is NOT “better than nothing” to live a lie.
    Being false to yourself is never better.

    You need to see a therapist–but not to “convert” yourself, but to adjust and learn how to find love in a way that works for you.

    As for the “gay lifestyle” and the “gay community”–to some extent, that is media hype. There are as many different ways to be a gay man as to be a straight one. I’ve known the kind of flamboyant gay person you seem to be referring to–but that is a stereotype.

    I’ve also known gay men who were conservative, quiet homebodies, who were married (not legally, back then, but in every other way) for over 20 years!

    You can’t live to please your parents. As for having children, when you find your life partner, you can consider adoption.

    You can’t make yourself want what you don’t want (women)–and it is cruel to let a woman think you want her the way a man should want a woman if you don’t.

    I had a childhood friend who married a man who turned out to be gay. She was heartbroken. She felt he deceived her. Don’t be that guy.

    Don’t live a lie.
    Instead, find people who can support you being your true self.

    If you ask around on the GLBT boards, you can find out where, in your area, there are other gay men and perhaps some support groups.<br/>
    Maggie Sanger

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